Should I share my inheritance?

General chat and discussion on the finance topics

Should I share my inheritance?

Postby UndecidedMBA » Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:45 pm

Advice please.

My mom died of incurable cancer recently. I inherited a $230,000 middle class house free and clear (was worth $270 a couple years ago). My sister is receiving ~$21k (and this is all she is getting) and me ~$31k. Sister is upset that she is not receiving as much as me. She is threating to take me to court but the will is rock-solid and I have been told there is no way she could win. I am just having problems thinking this through and yes, even sleeping at night. I feel really guilty about anything when I feel like something may be immoral. Party because the assets were all supposed to be spit 60-40 but then towards the end I was given the house (a little more than 3 months before she passed).

Background: My sibling was made to leave the house at age 18 (senior yr of HS) because of constant arguments. Both sibling and mom had some psychological issues, but neither were retarded in that sense (although mom ending up being a little slow -- she was technically disabled and had an IQ at about 70 (mentally) (note initially she was not she was just it the last 15 years or so of her life)). My sister would not talk to my mom for a little over 10 years. I think my mom tried to mend things, but my sister would not want to unless my mom admitted she was wrong about kicker her out of the house; neither was willing to budge in their stance. So that was it. Hardly any communication what so ever. I was her trustee (unpaid), which means I managed her finances--I only spent 10 hours a year doing this and I don't really consider it a real job. About once ever two-three weeks since I moved away from home I would stop over and visit her, and sometime help with yard work. I talked with her and had a decent relationship with her--most of the time. During the last 5 months of her life I moved in with her to help her out--because of her medications she could not drive so I brought her to docs and helped her out in other ways, planning etc. I think this is part of the reason she may have given me the house (I big stickler with my sister) and I feel like I may have be over-rewarded, and so I feel guilt, like I do about unfairness, if this situation is indeed unfair--something I am trying to figure out.

I have had a pretty good relationship with my sister & my mom did have some mental health difficulties--was my sister justified in cutting of communication and not helping her out with stuff over the years? Should I sacrifice 50% of my nest egg or just some, or none at all? Some people are just plain impatient--at times myself; but, I could put up with the slow and at times irrational behavior of my mom more than my sister, am a pretty easy-going guy. That's why I was able to get along better with my mom and at times hang out around her.

If I did not get married, I could rent out this home for ~$2,000 a month, and could rent an apartment for myself or live with friends for under $750 (maybe under $450 if I really wanted to be thrifty). If I decided to not have a family I could just live off the difference and travel around, and have a property management company handle everything (at a cut of ~10%), and life a comfortable life (for me anyways) on about $1,200-1,500 or so without really working, with the exception of repairs on the home (some minor fixes now & future ones which may or may not be handled by someone besides me). But anyways I want to have a family so I will still have to work even if I rent out the place.

What should I do? No snide remarks please. Imagine you were me and wanted to have a relationship with your sibling. Some relatives think I should "keep the peace" some think I should stick to my guns, etc. I don't know what to do or what is right. My main sense of guilt comes from the fact that she changed gave me the house is the last ~3 months or so but she swore I had no influence over her, but at times I think I may have. For me and my family, this kind of money is a lot for us and can really make the difference in lifestyle. Thoughts appreciated.
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:45 pm

Return to General Finance

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest